Behind the Shuriken
by Dark Nemesis 7
Summary: Take a peek at the lives of Konoha's ninjas when they're not in the line of action. Chapter 1: The Truth About Sasuke!


Nemesis (me!): Yeees,we all have seen the cold,uncaring Sasuke Uchiha.But how is he when he's alone? Come with us on a journey to see what exactly goes on behind his door...  
  
Sasuke: *is stroking pictures of random fangirls* Yeees,mah preciousesssss.One day,we shall create an army,and THEN,yeees THEN,we will KEEEL Itachi! KEEEEL him,ah say!  
  
*camera zooms out to show Sasuke sitting in the middle of a room with a white carpeted floor and pink walls covered in pictures of fangirls*  
  
Sasuke: *licks picture* Oh yeees,Ino,you are a veeery dedicated leeedy...*kisses a different picture* Sakura,someday you will be my pleasure slaaave... *looks sadly at another pic* But Hinata,my truely truest trueable true-ishly true love,why do you not love me back? WHY???  
  
Nemesis: Disgusting,isn't it?  
  
Itachi: *yelling from kitchen* WHERE'RE THE CHEETOS?!?!  
  
Sasuke: *also yelling* IN THE FRIDGE! *realizes something* HEY,WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?!?!  
  
Itachi: *yelling back* I WAS FIRED FOR BEING A CYNICAL SARCASTIC BASTARD! CAN I HAVE THE CHEETOS? WHY ARE THEY IN THE FRIDGE?  
  
Sasuke: *still yelling* OK,AND YES YOU CAN HAVE THE CHEETOS,THEY'RE IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE TO PUT THEM.  
  
Itachi: *also still yelling* OH,OK THEN.  
  
Sasuke: Now,back to 'before the ruuude interruption'....Yeees,prashaaaas! We WILL KEEEL Itachi and then we will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!MYAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHYAA!  
  
*fangirl picture falls off of wall and breaks*  
  
Sasuke: *gasps* NOOOOOO MY BEAUTY!!! *picks up picture and huggles it while crying his eyes out* Now,I shall bury you... *Grabs flower pot and pulls out flower,then shoves picture in and stuffs flower back over picture* Now I shall get the proper burial stuff...  
  
*Sasuke stands up and runs downstairs*  
  
Itachi: *sitting on kitchen counter,eating frozen Cheetos in a bra and tiger-patterned thong* Yo,wazzup ma homedawg?  
  
Sasuke: *sniffles* How can you be so enthusiastic when my precious fangirl Priscilladoralinamanasue HAS JUST DIED???  
  
Itachi: *raises eyebrows* Was that her REAL name,Sasuke?  
  
Sasuke: *tear rolls down cheek* No,wanna make somethin' of it? Just because I like to make girly names doesn't mean you hve to make fun of me.Just because I-  
  
Itachi: No.  
  
Sasuke: Good. *grabs milk and sprinklies and starts to leave*  
  
Itachi: *chucks Cheetos at Sasuke's retreating back*  
  
Sasuke: *whirls around angrily* Stop or I'll tell Mom,Itachi.  
  
Itachi: You can't tell Mom,I killed her.  
  
Sasuke: *turns around and starts crying again,then pauses at door* Itachi,why are you wearing a thong?  
  
Itachi: Because it makes me feel *raises arms into cat-paw position and flutters fingers*   
  
prettiful.  
  
Sasuke: *leaves*  
  
*Sasuke reenters his room*  
  
Sasuke: *kneels by plant* Oh,Priscilladoralinamanasue,why did you have to die? WHY??? *pulls out milk,which he pours over the poor plant* *sniffles* But I will ressurect you,faithful fangirl!!! *runs downstairs;you hear a screaming noise and Sasuke reappears carrying Itachi's underwear/bikini-thing and some eggnog*  
  
Sasuke: *throws bikini and eggnog onto the plant,then starts throwing sprinklies around the room and twirls in the ballerina tutu he just put on* I will ressurect you! Now,the ressurecting chant! IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVA,YA GOTTA GET WITH MA FRIENDS! MAKE IT LAST FOREVA, FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS! IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVA,YOU HAVE GOT TO GIVE! TAKIN' IS TOO EASY BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS!!! *runs over to plant,rips out plant and hangs the dirt-covered broken picture of the fangirl on the wall and grins widely* There,ALL better! Now,fangirls,let's play a fun game... Dollies! I'll be the...um...Queen! Yeah,Queen! And you,Priscilladoralinamanasue,you can be the beautiful Princess Ellie-May-Sue-Jenny-Anna-Barbara! And Sakura can be your SISTER, Susanna-Cloe-Maxie-Donna-Lee! And Hinata can be Rebecca-Sharon-Lily-Kara-Debbie! Ino can be all of you's baby sister,Amanda-Sally-Debbie-Lora-Fefe! And I'll be your mother,Catherine-Tiffany- Krissy-Heidi-Lorraine! ISN'T IT SO BEAUTIFUL?!?! WELL??? ISN'T IT????  
  
*Sasuke runs to his bed with a heart-shaped headboard and pink covers (if you own Animal Crossing and have seen the Lovely Bed then you know what I'm talking about) and grabs 4 plushies: One of Sakura (which he kisses,) one of Ino (which he huggles,) one of Hinata (which he huggles and kisses) and one of Priscilladoralinamanasue.Then he puts them on little pink chairs around a little pink table with a tea set on it and plays tea party*  
  
Sasuke: *in prettiful high-pitched voice* I'm the queen,girls,and I am your mother.So I say that we have to get dressed up in sparkly dresses and we will look for a father for you.  
  
*Sasuke grabs a long red doll dress for Ino,a long green doll dress for Sakura,a long purply-blue dress for Hinata and a long yellow dress for Priscilladoralinamanasue.Then he dresses the poor dolls in the dresses and runs downstairs with them.*  
  
Sasuke: *enters kitchen*  
  
Itachi: Can I have my thong back?  
  
Sasuke: No.But I WILL buy you a new one if you play tea party with me.  
  
Itachi: I can't believe you still do that.You're 12,Sasuke.Grow up.  
  
Sasuke: *ready to cry*  
  
Itachi: *eyes widen* Okay,okay,whatever floats your boat.But only this once.  
  
Sasuke: *claps hands and jumps up and down* Yaaaaay!  
  
*two hours later*  
  
Sasuke: --And oh, darling Harry, don't we have beautiful daughters?  
  
Itachi: *in monotone* Yes, honey.  
  
Nemesis: Well, there you have it: Sasuke's home life revealed.R&R and I will post my next chapter of Behind the Shuriken!~ 


End file.
